Wednesday, July 22, 2015

The Bestest Baddest Village Manager Ever

After his dramatic public putdown of the Mayor who had the temerity and audacity and other big words to say about nobody getting her the essential note cards required for her to do her mayoring , Rootin' Tootin' Straight Shootin' Son Of A Gun Village Manager Frank Rollason has exceeded himself as the bestest and baddest village manager North Bay Village ever saw.  

Just a single case in point.  Unlike other fancy engaged Village Managers, ours takes the time to go to Costco personally and buy the Village supplies for the office kitchen.  I mean, you won't find Barack Obama or Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton doing that, will you?   Maybe Rick Perry would but he'd get the wrong stuff. Then Rootin' Tootin' Straight Shootin' Son of a Gun (RTSSSOG)  Frank Rollason personally delivers and restocks the supplies because that's a really good use of his time. It is.  

But are people grateful?  No, no they are not.  Because people suck.   

Last weekend, in the heat and everything, RTSSSOG Rollason went to Costco and as is his habit, restocked the kitchen.  AND HE NOTICED SOME STUFF WAS MISSING!  Springing into action, he composed and sent to all staff the following email:

Good Day, All. I have hesitated writing this e-mail for some time, but I came into the office a few moments ago (Sunday around noon) to deliver my usual supply of kitchen, office, and janitorial supplies that I pick up at Costco on a fairly regular basis.

Since I am taking a day off on Monday, I went into the kitchen on the Admin side of the 3rd floor to stock up supplies for use on Monday and found quite a bit of items missing from the stock that was provided on Friday.

For instance, allof the plastic spoons and all but a couple of plastic forks were gone -they were stocked up quite well this past Thursday morning. The individual coffee paks were also down significantly from Friday as well as all the paper napkins on the eating table which was filled up on Friday - usually enough for the greater part of a week were gone. Same with the yellow packets of sweetener; I put a handful in the container on Friday - must have been one hell of a lot of coffee consumed on Saturday!

Now, this may seem like an insignificant or petty issue to some of you, but it goes to the very core of being an employee of North Bay Village. It is an issue of trust, integrity, and self-worth.

When I was in the military, there was nothing worse or more despised than a "barracks thief" and I equate the taking of taxpayer paid supplies to that same level. These supplies are provided by the taxpayers of NBV for the convenience and consumption of the employees. These perks are not required by contract and can be shut off with the stroke of a pen. Someone or someones have been helping themselves to an inordinate amount of our kitchen supplies and it needs to come to an end. I would not 
think anyone of you would believe that some napkins or paper plates would be worth your job, but rest assured if I find anyone taking Village supplies for their personal use, you will receive your walking papers forthwith!

Think about it - enough said, Frank.

Frank Rollason, Village Manager
North Bay Village

Now some negative nabobs of negativism might suggest that if the Village Manager needs some nice time outside the office on a weekend while still doing Village Manager stuff, he might have:

√ Walked around Harbor Island or Treasure Island to see the thrown out furniture piled on the sidewalk.

√ Taken some pictures of the overflowing garbage cans on Treasure Island every Sunday.

√ Tried to cross the causeway on foot at each of the intersections.

Then if he was really, really, really feeling eloquent, composed an email to his staff asking for their ideas on how to handle the street garbage (maybe offer a prize - a Trip To Costco - for the best idea) or maybe composed a status of the failed Harbor Island Parking Permit Program and asked a passing teenager to post it on the intertubes, at the North Bay Village website.  

Well, that's for "fancy" managers in "fancy" places.  In North Bay Village, a real manager does the grocery shopping and inventory himself and damn* well lets people know that he's watching.  

Real top executives know that it is much better to spend your time going to Costco, counting straws in the break room, and writing threatening emails to an entire staff.  That's the unique talent the taxpayer demands and likes.  

Well done, sir, well done.  

Kevin Vericker
July 22, 2015

* apologies for the use of strong language here but man, I am peeved.  


  1. How did you get ahold of this email he sent out?

    1. It was sent to me yesterday. I don't always know who sends me stuff but I can tell by the ISP that it originated in the Village Hall. They pretty well send me everything lately. I think there is some discontent.

  2. Great grammar, "Someone or someones have been helping themselves". Which high school and college did he graduate from? I really want to know.

  3. the grammar lessons come from the Army.....


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